mater mea—Support and Community for Black Moms

 

for black moms

who we are

mater mea helps Black moms live their best lives. We do this through sharing motherhood stories that get real real about this work-life juggle; getting and giving expert advice on everything from finding a midwife to handling microaggressions at work; and sharing resources that can help make being a mom a little easier and a lot less lonely.

 
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Maternity Leave: 5 Things That Help Make Going Back To Work Easier

Returning to work after maternity leave is hard, but these tips can help you handle the transition.

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Is Your Child Being Bullied? 3 Ways You Can Help

Bullying can make children feel alone. Let them know you have their back with these tips.

mater mea - Celebrating Motherhood and Women of Color
Why You Should Care About Gestational Diabetes—Even If You’re Not Pregnant

Black women are a high-risk for developing gestational diabetes. But being proactive can help you avoid a diagnosis.

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There’s More To Me Than Being Someone’s Mother

It can be a struggle to remember who you were before you became a mom, but she still exists—and she needs to be honored.

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Want To Make Money Moves? These 7 Financial Literacy Podcasts Can Help

If one of your New Year’s resolutions was getting your finances in order, these podcasts can help.

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Surviving R. Kelly Is An Indictment Of The Enablers In Our Community

The Lifetime docuseries shows that it takes a village to raise a child—and a village to destroy their innocence.

 
 

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A woman wrote an essay for HuffPost called "How I’m Talking To My Black Son About Race And Privilege." It starts with a story about why she doesn't let her 2-year-old son bring his favorite toy to the store: "At best, we’ll receive inquiring glances from store personnel curious as to why Rhino didn’t have an accompanying bag and receipt like other purchased items. At worst, we’ll be asked to show our receipt to prove Rhino was a toy from home." . . . I posted the essay on our Facebook page, and the comments were split between people who have done the same thing and applaud this mother's attempts to teach her son about racism, and those who believe this type of parenting creates inferiority complexes and is just a form of "slave trauma coping mechanisms." . . . What do you think? And how can Black parents raise children who are aware of racism in a way that doesn't clip their wings before they can fly? Photo: @Quazimottoonwx for mater mea
"Though it changed me more than any other event, experience, or relationship in my life, I did not come into being the day I became someone’s mother. And there are parts of me that while touched by my role as a mother, still exist independently of that distinction. I was someone before I became a mother, and though I may have tabled them or pushed them to the side or neglected them, the parts of me that are not 'mother' are still there." —From @satyanelms' essay "There Is More To Me Than Being Someone's Mother" // link in bio Do you have a hard time separating yourself from your role as a mom?
When you noticed that something may be a little off with your child’s development, address it immediately! For both of my boys it was their delay in language, not saying many words, not showing any interest in their peers, major meltdowns, repetitive behaviors, and not having a sense of danger. . . . The process has been the same for both of the boys. We went to our pediatrician, and let him know we noticed certain behaviors and delays. He then sent a referral off for us to get a medical diagnosis. We waited about a month for Stasik; Khai still has not got a medical diagnosis of autism, only an educational diagnosis through the school district, but we immediately had the boys start speech therapy. For Stasik, after his diagnosis his early Intervention treatment was speech, physical, and Occupational Therapy! Also applied behavior analysis (ABA) therapies, and early childhood education through the school. . . . We kind of threw him in head first. Stasik also has a patient care assistant—my mother in law. She looks after him a few hours out of the day and is paid through the state. We are still in the process of getting Khai medically diagnosed, but, like I mentioned, he is taking speech therapy, and now attending the early childhood education program through the school. . . . ABA therapies, speech, occupational, and physical therapy are all forms of early intervention treatments with kids with autism. The need of the child determines what therapies your child will need! Another treatment is medication. (I personally have never went that route, or plan on it! The therapies in itself have done wonders!) . . . If you are concerned your child may have a developmental delay, address it right away, get your child medically evaluated, and start treatment ASAP! Early Intervention is KEY! Thank you @matermea for having me and letting me share my testimony! Peace and Love, and Cheers to taking care of ourselves mentally in 2019 ! Signing off @melaninmamma_
Both of my boys fall on the spectrum for completely different reasons, and are two completely different kids! I love that saying, "If you met one kid with autism, then you’ve only met one kid with autism! They are all unique in their own way. Some kids fall very high in the spectrum, and some are very mild! Both of my boys are now high functioning. Stasik, my oldest, is extremely smart. He’s a great reader, he has a love for math, science, words, and numbers! On the other hand, he still struggles with social cues, understanding his peers, tying his shoes, coordination, buttoning buttons—those fine motor skills. Khai on the other hand is the opposite! He loves to dress himself, button all his buttons, put on his shoes, put on his jacket. He’s very independent in those areas! He has a love for animals, so much that he pretends to be them lol! But I’m not complaining because he is not lacking a thing in imaginary play, whereas kids on the spectrum most of the time do! He loves to play by using his imagination, he is very observant! He loves people, and trying to get to understand them! He is very animated, and far from shy. I love their differences because they both lack something the other has, and they get to learn those things from each other! They both continue to push each other out of their comfort zone everyday! One of the best things you can do for your kid who you may think falls on the spectrum is to get them tested early as possible! Early intervention has been key to both of my boys successes and growth! Stasik went from not speaking at all, to being one of the top readers in his class! Early intervention is so important, and critical to the success in any kids who fall on the ASD Spectrum! Both boys will be getting re-evaluated in a few months, and they may not fall on the spectrum anymore. After all, that is my goal! Autism isn’t a disease, so not it can’t be cured! But with the proper, and earliest intervention, it’s very possible that they might outgrow it!
“Telling my black friends/ and family about my kids diagnosis.“ Let’s get into it ! So as I was dealing with my family newfound diagnosis, and I say family because it effects us all, and how we live our day to day life. It was even harder being able to openly talk about the boys having Autism. I would hear things like, “Girl that baby only 2. He still a baby, and got a lot of developing to do.” Or “put in the lords hands.” Or “pray on it”. Or some family members simply would completely look at me crazy, and switch topics. While my mom is very supportive, she’s old school, and comes from a southern background. While she does support us, she still simply doesn’t get it ! So it was, and still has been a very challenging topic to even bring up around people ! Autism is not a visible disability. So people have a hard time understanding something they can’t see ! Also, I think as a culture we have already been through so much mentally from being descendants of slaves. That some of us, still have the thinking of well we made it across the Atlantic in the hold of ships and still survived slavery, so now we can survive whatever comes our way. Or the sense that black don’t crack. Emotionally or Mentally (and not just in reference to our reputedly wrinkle- resistant skin.) While Faith, is an excellent support of mental health, if we approve of people taking medication for hypertension. Then we should approve of people getting treatment for brain disorders. African American are 20 percent more like to experience serious Mental Health problems than the general population. According to the office of Minority Health, and only about 25 percent of African Americans seek Mental Health Care, as compared to 40 percent of Whites according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness . Don’t be ashamed to seek Help !

About

mater mea is a website that tells the stories of women at the intersection of motherhood and career. Launched in 2012, the site offers a more realistic depiction of black women in the many spaces they occupy: as mothers, daughters, employees and employers, lovers, and friends.  Learn more...