mater mea—Support and Community for Black Moms

 

for black moms

who we are

mater mea helps Black moms live their best lives. We do this through sharing motherhood stories that get real real about this work-life juggle; getting and giving expert advice on everything from finding a midwife to handling microaggressions at work; and sharing resources that can help make being a mom a little easier and a lot less lonely.

 
Featured
Aesha Ray Owns Her Town's First Black-Owned Beauty Supply Store. Here's How She Did It

All while working a full-time job and raising two boys by herself no less.

Featured
The Masks We Wear: Finding Ourselves Between Self-Respect and Respectability

A mom reflects on the respectability politics she was raised on, and the self-respect she wants to foster in her children.

mater mea - Celebrating Motherhood and Women of Color
Get It Right, Get It Tight: Why Kegels Matter After Childbirth

Kegels aren’t just for your sex life. This pelvic-floor strengthening exercise can help with a number of postpartum issues.

Featured
7 Ways To Make Time For Self-Care During The Week

Self-care shouldn’t have to wait until Sunday—here are some tips for reducing your stress during the work week.

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6 Must-Have Hair Accessories for Your Littles

Give your child’s crowning glory some extra glam with these hair accessories created by Black-owned businesses.

Featured
Surviving R. Kelly Is An Indictment Of The Enablers In Our Community

The Lifetime docuseries shows that it takes a village to raise a child—and a village to destroy their innocence.

 

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Despite the great losses both Delmost and Theresa have experienced, the pair have soldiered on together. They’ve found their groove as mother and son, and their days aren’t as teary as their first few months together were. ⁣ ⁣ What does Theresa love most about being a mom?⁣ ⁣ "When I see my child connect the dots for himself. You can teach a lesson, teach a lesson, teach a lesson, but then when you see or hear them doing it themselves, living it out themselves, and see that it has connected... That’s been the gift to me because I didn’t raise him; he was with someone else for nine years. So to incorporate him into a very, very different life than [what] he lived in Mississippi—to see him embracing and becoming his own self, but echoing some of the things he’s learned while he’s been here with me—that feels good. I love watching him become himself."⁣ ⁣ (Full feature in bio. Words: @ariel_cwilliams. Photo credit: @erikalaynephoto)⁣ ⁣
Though Theresa doesn’t regret becoming TT Mommie, uprooting Delmost also meant making major changes in her life as well; she took six weeks of adoption leave from work to try and learn what life would look like for them as a new mom and son.⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ “Honestly, when he first came, I don’t know who cried more: me or him,” she says. “He was sad and depressed; I was sad and overwhelmed. I was in the middle of a messy divorce and grieving, raising this child, and trying to do my job.”⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ To keep sane, Thames leaned on her church and friends for support. “I built the village and family that I needed,” she says now. “Those first few months were hard. He desperately missed being close to family, especially my mother, and I was overwhelmed with parenthood. I had to find a school, a pediatrician, and a barber. I had my first breakdown in the school uniform store because I had no idea how to buy pants for a boy.”⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ (Full feature in bio. Words: @ariel_cwilliams. Photo credit: @erikalaynephoto)
Theresa graduated @Howard1867 and @DukeDivinity School, and became one of the first black women pastors at Foundry United Methodist Church. But in the midst of her success, her marriage was unraveling. Three months after their separation, she learned of her sister's passing.⁣ ⁣ Theresa made the decision to bring Delmost from Mississippi to D.C. to live with her. (Delmost’s father was unable to take him in.)⁣ ⁣ “It was not a difficult decision for me to take him,” Theresa says now, “but I had no idea how I would make life work as a single parent literally 1,000 miles away from my family. However, him remaining in Mississippi was not an option. I wanted him to have a full and healthy life, a life that would expose him to the world. I had no doubt that he would be loved and cared for in Mississippi by our family, but I also knew that their care of him would be limited.”⁣ ⁣ (Full feature in the bio. Photo credit: @erikalaynephoto)
Someone recently asked me if mater mea features women who aren't their children's biological mother. I said "Of course!"—one of the features that touched me the most, our 2015 chat with pastor and theology scholar Theresa S. Thames. Theresa became a mom after she adopted her nephew Delmost when he was 9 years old, after her sister died. ⁣ ⁣ “My sister [Portia] was eight years older than me when she died,” Theresa explains. “He’s the only baby in my immediate family who was born after me. Growing up he called me ‘Pretty Auntie,’ because that’s what I told him my name was. So when my sister died of cryptococcal meningitis, it became [TT Mommie]. I am his TiTi, but I’m also his mom.”⁣ ⁣ Today I'll be sharing parts of her story—you can click the link in the bio for the full feature.⁣ ⁣ Photo credit: @erikalaynephoto
Congratulations, Ariana Adams! She just opened her gorgeous store @milkandhoneybabies in the brand-spanking new Hudson Yards in NYC! Black-owned and operated, Milk and Honey Babies is all about making the transition from pregnancy to motherhood easier for new parents. Go say hi! Doors open to the public today! #mompreneur

About

mater mea is a website that tells the stories of women at the intersection of motherhood and career. Launched in 2012, the site offers a more realistic depiction of black women in the many spaces they occupy: as mothers, daughters, employees and employers, lovers, and friends.  Learn more...