mater mea episode 008: Career First, Babies Later?
Words: mater mea
Women in their 20s, 30s, and 40s talk about their path to finding the right man to start a family with—and what having a child later in life means to them.
Women are getting married and having children a few years further down the road than their mothers did. And a lot of that has to do with increased career opportunities and the desire to be more financially stable before finding a partner and settling down.
Anthonia spoke to brand strategist Neffy Anderson and creative director and mom of one Piper Hickman about their thoughts on delaying families and marriage to get the perspective of two women in their 20s (Neffy) and 30s (Anthonia) who plan on waiting for a while to start their families, and the wisdom of a woman in her 40s (Piper) who actually did just that. (You can follow them on Instagram @NeffyAnderson and @PiperBKNY.)
We Talk About...
The Chris Rock quote that shaped Piper's dating life
The characteristics we are / were looking for in partners
"You need to go wherever you think your partner is...and be open to love" via Charreah Jackson of Essence (Click to tweet)
What dating is like as an ambitious, driven woman
"I haven't made time to date... I'm busy building my empire!" —Neffy (Click to tweet)
The difference between working hard to get a career, and working hard to find a partner
Neffy and Piper on the influence their family has had on their career and family building
Piper on having a kid later than her peers: "Their kids are going to prom and college and I'm trying to find a kindergarten!" —Piper
The unexpected moment that made Piper realize she wanted to have a child
What work-life balance looks like when you decide to have children later in life
"It's not balance—it's vertigo, and you try to stay upright." —Piper (Click to tweet)
Why Piper didn't have any concerns about having a baby at 44—despite the "risky pregnancy over 35" messaging women receive
The benefits of having a baby later in life: "I got 40 years of really good sleep." —Piper
The physical demands of being an older mom
"Having the right partner makes all the difference in the world." —Piper
Things That Give Us Life
Neffy: Her Agenda, a resource for career-focused millennial women, put on an event where women could see Lupita Nyong'o in Eclipsed on Broadway with their mentees. While there, Neffy met Lindsey Day, the co-founder of CRWN Magazine, a publication that celebrates natural hair and the hair stories behind them.
"That was amazing to see myself reflected in print. It's for people who look like me, and it allows me to embrace my natural hair."
When we recorded, the magazine hadn't released its first issue, but it's now available for purchase.
Piper: Piper took her daughter Élodie to Sunday School at a church they hadn't attended before. After church, the Sunday School teacher told Piper that during show and tell, Élodie told everyone to sing "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" so she could dance.
"When she's with me she's super shy all the time, so it's nice to know that she's ok [on her own]."
Anthonia: Being nominated to attend the United State of Women Summit and being surrounded by women who are doing something to end a lot of the ills in our society. Taking swimming classes at the YMCA gives her life, too.
The mater mea podcast is executive produced by Anthonia Akitunde, O. Valerie Nicolas, and Kimson Albert. The podcast is edited by Ty Worell.
Are you a New York or New Jersey-based Black woman interested in appearing on the podcast? Fill out this form to be considered!