mater mea - Celebrating Motherhood and Women of Color

mater mea episode 005: Avoiding The Coparent Trap

Photo credit: J. Quazi King (1-18), Rog Walker (19-20)

Photo credit: J. Quazi King (1-18), Rog Walker (19-20)

mater mea episode 005: Avoiding The Coparent Trap

Words: mater mea

Is it possible to have a harmonious coparenting experience? Our latest guest walks us through what it took for her family to get there. 

Writer, blogger, and vlogger Anika Lani joined Anthonia in the studio to talk about her experiences coparenting her son with his father for 13 years. It was interesting to hear about a coparenting relationship that has navigated its way to the other side, where anger and bitterness gives way to a mutual understanding and respect.

 

What We Talked About...

The trend of women having children later in life, inspired by Janet Jackson’s pregnancy news.

Why is the stigma always on women who have kids late in life and not men?

How Anika’s coparenting relationship has changed from when she first separated from her partner 13 years ago to now

The support system she leaned on to get through the emotional early days of separation and coparenting

How her social life changed when she became a coparent

The upside of not having a partner as a creative

How she handles the logistical parts of coparenting with her former partner

Why you should “never marry someone you wouldn’t want a divorce from”

Talking to her former partner and son about her relationships and dating

The difference between being a single parent and a coparent

Anika’s advice to women who are at the beginning of their coparenting journey

 

Things That Gave Us Life

Anika: Getting a copy of Let’s Go Crazy, which chronicles the making of Purple Rain, and getting to a place beyond mourning where she can celebrate Prince's music.

Anthonia: Seeing her parents and her fiancé's parents connect with each other without having asked them to.

 

You can follow Anika Lani on Twitter and Tumblr.

 

Past Episodes

episode 004: Why Did These Heifers Lie?

mater mea episode 003: "What Did Florida Evans Do?"

episode 002: "Independent Mamas"